Why do you think over 50% of the US is divorced?

[imtim83]

.

[JCYC5]

Because the marriage didn't work out?

[TCGChris]

Because Woman can't make up thier minds about anything!

Love Him one minute...hate him the next!

[Vector Man]

Either the men get tired of the women yappin or messin up their groove or they just aren't man enough to realize the real meaning of marriage & go boff another woman.


The one thing I hate about marriage is watching stars treating it like a bad date.

[wazman]

Because we've become a disposable society. If something doesn't work, we just get rid of it and move on.

Plus many people aren't ready to be married. They're either not grown up or adult enough, or aren't mature enough... I wasn't when WazLady and I got married and I'm really not now, but I'm working on it...

And also there are the unreal expectations - a marriage is a day in, day out, growing all the time thing. The marriage doesn't end when you say I do - just the wedding does. If you don't want to do the work to make the relationship grow and evolve, then it's going to stagnate and die.

You have to commit fully to marriage, or else it's not worth it. In that case, it's better not to marry than to put yourself through that.

And of course, sometimes, the two people just aren't meant to be together. In that case, it's better to divorce and save themselves a lot of grief... But that's used as the reason far too often. If it's true, then yeah - divorce. But if not, try to save it (unless there's abuse or infidelity or crimes being committed, of course...).

So that's what I think.

[thephenom]

Because ppl are greedy.

Instead of having marriage as a "ONE-Time" thing, people are so greedy, they want to it over and over again.

[imagein2]

Originally posted by wazman
And also there are the unreal expectations - a marriage is a day in, day out, growing all the time thing. The marriage doesn't end when you say I do - just the wedding does. If you don't want to do the work to make the relationship grow and evolve, then it's going to stagnate and die.

You have to commit fully to marriage, or else it's not worth it. In that case, it's better not to marry than to put yourself through that.

And of course, sometimes, the two people just aren't meant to be together. In that case, it's better to divorce and save themselves a lot of grief... But that's used as the reason far too often. If it's true, then yeah - divorce. But if not, try to save it (unless there's abuse or infidelity or crimes being committed, of course...).

I would have to agree with all you said. I have been dating my girlfriend for three years. Before her, I just got out of a fiance and a house mortgage, etc... Boy did I jump in WAY too quickly! I would say that now after three years I feel more ready than ever. But I am not about to jump into marriage, not again. I want my finances, my mental health and my girlfriend to be ready.

I would say that most of the divorces I have seen stem from not being ready and/or jumping in for the wrong reasons. Like having a child. I see too many young couples marry because they weren't smart enough to wrap it up, or use birth control. A few years in, the relationship dies and the whole family suffers then. I don't feel a child is the correct reason to marry, if they were unsure before the child, then what changed their mind? A child? That made them love the significant other? Sometimes I don't understand the choices of other people.....

[efernandez_98]

Originally posted by wazman
Because we've become a disposable society. I agree whole heartedly with you Waz. It seems that we are suffering from being spoiled by instant gratification. Apparently, our humanity is ******ing and degenerating, while our bonds to machines seem to grow stronger. This probably stems from our dependence on technology which is growing exponentially as it matures. It's a shame because as the technology grows we're becoming less sociable with one another.

As the result, we've become desensatised to ceramonies and traditions which were once time honored and considered holly. Now these idea have since been labeled as bothersome and old fashion. Divorce was a forebodding thought because people understood that a failed marriage reflected on the couple. But now replacing your spouse is as easy and common as buying a new car.

it is a shame.

[WazLady73]

I have been divorced. My 1st husband walked out on me when my little girl was 14 months old.

I had no clue it was coming. Just one day driving our car he said he waned "Out". I was devastated. My parents spent close to 10 grand on our wedding only 2 years and 2 months to that day he told me.

His reason? He needed breathing room. Or so he said. I really think he wasn't ready. He was working at a riverboat casino as a chef and he wanted to stay out all night with the "Guys" drinking and yucking it up. Then coming home to his wife and daughter was too much for him. He eventually packed his little bags and paid for the divorce and left.

We dated for about 3 years before we tied the knot too. And we were engaged for over a year also. So I guess your dating time doesn't really matter...

I agree with what Wazman and Eferz said too. But my 2 cents is this..

Women now have more resources than they had in the past. We are more financially sound also. Many women have jobs outside the home, as in the past they were usually stay-at-home moms and didn't have the means to move out.

Also, as late and the 1st part of the 20th Century women who got divorced the kids went with the husband. So not only would they have been penniless they lost their children also.

So that is my 2 cents added with Wazman and Eferz...

[Vector Man]

I am definitely happy to say that I waited until I was 33 & decided to do it. I mean, the woman I am with now makes me feel like know other woman. I mean come one, I do hardware & she does software. I am dark, she is light. Our minds are on the same wave length. We can actually discuss things most of the time.

But then you must always remember she is a woman & men I would suggest speaking before you speak.

[Darc]

Originally posted by wazman
Because we've become a disposable society. If something doesn't work, we just get rid of it and move on.

Plus many people aren't ready to be married. They're either not grown up or adult enough, or aren't mature enough... I wasn't when WazLady and I got married and I'm really not now, but I'm working on it...

And also there are the unreal expectations - a marriage is a day in, day out, growing all the time thing. The marriage doesn't end when you say I do - just the wedding does. If you don't want to do the work to make the relationship grow and evolve, then it's going to stagnate and die.

You have to commit fully to marriage, or else it's not worth it. In that case, it's better not to marry than to put yourself through that.

And of course, sometimes, the two people just aren't meant to be together. In that case, it's better to divorce and save themselves a lot of grief... But that's used as the reason far too often. If it's true, then yeah - divorce. But if not, try to save it (unless there's abuse or infidelity or crimes being committed, of course...).

So that's what I think.

I agree with you...

I have been married 7 years now...damn time to scratch that itch!!!

Just kidding about the scratching...:D

[tntsniper]

Because when men get older they think with their mind and not their d|ck

[redphoenix]

rofl. Cause one isnt satisfied by the other so they find new people and have an affair? bah dont know.

[efernandez_98]

Originally posted by WazLady73
I agree with what Wazman and Eferz said too. But my 2 cents is this..

Women now have more resources than they had in the past. We are more financially sound also. Many women have jobs outside the home, as in the past they were usually stay-at-home moms and didn't have the means to move out.

Also, as late and the 1st part of the 20th Century women who got divorced the kids went with the husband. So not only would they have been penniless they lost their children also.

So that is my 2 cents added with Wazman and Eferz... That's a good point. So, perhaps... were are going too independant for our own good?

[wazman]

Originally posted by efernandez_98
That's a good point. So, perhaps... were are going too independant for our own good?

No, I think it's better that we're more independent - women and men. A person should be able to be on his or her own before they commit to marriage. I'm all for women working and making their own money and doing whatever they want to do - if it makes them stronger people and makes them happy, that's good enough for me...

What I think WazLady is trying to say is that now women have so much more of a choice in how they live their lives and with whom. They don't have to be tied to a hsuband or boyfriend's paycheck any more - they can support themselves just fine without men. So they (rightly so) are no longer willing to put up with as much as they once did. At the same time, though, women may be trying to do what men once (and still) did - make the choices and wear the pants in the family. In the old days, if the man didn't like it, he had more power to leave or whatever. Now the power is in both hands.

So what I'm saying is I don't think independence is a bad thing. But it can be taken too far, if all it's used for is to hold the power in a relationship - "I make all the money, so I rule." Actually, WazLady makes more money than I do, and I don't have a problem with that.

I guess I don't know exactly what I'm trying to say... I guess I'm saying that yeah, independence is good for both men and women. But sometimes it can be used as a crutch to give up too easily on something that might be wonderful with a little more time and effort...

Get what I'm saying? It's like saying "I don't have to put up with this - I'm out of here" without ever trying anything to make it work. Then it's not a good thing.

[efernandez_98]

Originally posted by wazman
Get what I'm saying? It's like saying "I don't have to put up with this - I'm out of here" without ever trying anything to make it work. Then it's not a good thing. Yeah, as with everything I believe, "Extremes are not good, moderation is the key to a centered existance."

[Tivon]

Because of Porn and the Internet.

[Mavarien]

I agree with the disposeable society comment.

Everythings is geared towards making life effortless. Remote this and that, TV dinners that are actually a meal and take 5 mins to microwave. Hop in the car and drive 3 blocks to get food in 5 mins at the local fast food joint.

Anymore it's cheaper to throw it away than fix it. I think this attitude has drifted over to relationships too. It's easier to throw it away and get a new one rather than spend effort to fix what you have.

Mav

[wazman]

Originally posted by Mavarien
I agree with the disposeable society comment.

Everythings is geared towards making life effortless. Remote this and that, TV dinners that are actually a meal and take 5 mins to microwave. Hop in the car and drive 3 blocks to get food in 5 mins at the local fast food joint.

Anymore it's cheaper to throw it away than fix it. I think this attitude has drifted over to relationships too. It's easier to throw it away and get a new one rather than spend effort to fix what you have.

Mav

Agree with that... :)

[Artcwolf]

Originally posted by efernandez_98
I agree whole heartedly with you Waz. It seems that we are suffering from being spoiled by instant gratification. Apparently, our humanity is ******ing and degenerating, while our bonds to machines seem to grow stronger. This probably stems from our dependence on technology which is growing exponentially as it matures. It's a shame because as the technology grows we're becoming less sociable with one another.

As the result, we've become desensatised to ceramonies and traditions which were once time honored and considered holly. Now these idea have since been labeled as bothersome and old fashion. Divorce was a forebodding thought because people understood that a failed marriage reflected on the couple. But now replacing your spouse is as easy and common as buying a new car.

it is a shame.

a.k.a.

We live in a microwave society. Quick to get heated up, quick to get done.

[efernandez_98]

Originally posted by Artcwolf
We live in a microwave society. Quick to get heated up, quick to get done. I know, and it is a shame.

[Artcwolf]

Originally posted by efernandez_98
That's a good point. So, perhaps... were are going too independant for our own good?

I think so.

There are several contributing factors but to keep it simple, it's like you stated...all things in moderation.

[cjstylee]

Marriage is overrated. People put to much into it.

[Orangepeel]

Originally posted by imtim83
.

You could ask Bill Clinton...

...even though he's not divorced...








...yet.

:lmao

[Orangepeel]

In some ways, divorce is good for some and bad for others.

Good for those who have been through physical and mental abuse and need to get out of the relationship for their own health and well being.

Then on the other hand, marriage is becoming disposable...just like some of you have said. At the drop of a hat and at any disagreement, one can file for divorce just because the relationship has turned unfavourable for the moment. It might be something that can be successfully worked out with a little time.

I kind of used the Bill Clinton thing in an above post because it is not such a surprising thing that Hillary Clinton kept Bill after his shenanigans. For one, he was the President and a powerful figure. She would need him to get ahead, as we have seen her do quite successfully. As well, to keep him would make her seem a strong, independant woman who can make her own choice, but one who also believes in giving her marriage a second chance.

[Grinder]

Originally posted by Orangepeel
I kind of used the Bill Clinton thing in an above post because it is not such a surprising thing that Hillary Clinton kept Bill after his shenanigans. For one, he was the President and a powerful figure. She would need him to get ahead, as we have seen her do quite successfully. As well, to keep him would make her seem a strong, independant woman who can make her own choice, but one who also believes in giving her marriage a second chance.


Its all about the power with her....

She is gearing up for a presidential run in '04, '08?

God help us all......:bomb

[XxFaeryOnFirexX]

I think it is mainly:

A. They didn't date long enough or live together and REALLY get to know eachother and their habits

B. They married young

C. Conflicts of interest

D. Job conflicts with married life. Spouse gets bored.

E. Incompatability.

That is what I think.

Someone said that.... "You should marry your best friend." I have no idea.

[egarrard]

Ugly women and uglier men.

[egarrard]

Not really a comment, but I saw this article and remembered this thread about divorce. It isn't exactly what I think of as a marriage, but if it works for them...

http://www.washtimes.com/national/20030711-121254-3711r.htm

A recent study on homosexual relationships finds they last 1-1/2 years on average — even as homosexual groups are pushing nationwide to legalize same-sex marriages.

Among heterosexuals, by contrast, 67 percent of first marriages in the United States last at least 10 years, and researchers report that more than three-quarters of married people say they have been faithful to their vows.