to all the "nice" guys out there [Archive]

Maniacmous

09-28-2003, 03:57 PM

I'd say he's almost flawlessly correct. I say almost, because not every guy is diehard focused on "getting into her pants", but even still, the vast majority of that rant is really correct...and it sucks...but, such is the life we lead. As was said there, once we start along the path of the nice guy...we are stuck there, at least up until the day we decide to just pack it in and close shop for good. Sad sad state of affairs when such an end has to come to be though.

bejohnson

09-28-2003, 04:39 PM

Originally posted by Maniacmous
I'd say he's almost flawlessly correct. I say almost, because not every guy is diehard focused on "getting into her pants", but even still, the vast majority of that rant is really correct...and it sucks...but, such is the life we lead. As was said there, once we start along the path of the nice guy...we are stuck there, at least up until the day we decide to just pack it in and close shop for good. Sad sad state of affairs when such an end has to come to be though.

Guys, women are just as confused at 18 as you are. The only cure for it is maturity. Those same women when they are thirty are looking everywhere for a nice guy. Someone to just treat them as equals with respect. That was my motto and though I'm a physical train wreck Brandi still wanted me because I respected her as a person above all else.

KaNaDiAnIcEmAn

09-28-2003, 04:53 PM

:Sigh

Orangepeel

09-30-2003, 01:33 PM

Nah, it goes both ways.

Just remember that there are nice girls out there too, and the guy of their dreams doesn't realize they exist, either.

Maniacmous

09-30-2003, 03:38 PM

Originally posted by Orangepeel
Nah, it goes both ways.

Just remember that there are nice girls out there too, and the guy of their dreams doesn't realize they exist, either.

And the long and short reason to that...nice guys tend to not understand bounds too well...by that I mean, they are so busy being nice, that they lose or refuse to use the knowledge of how to take a friendship to the next level...and of course...women never seem to come right out and say when they like a guy...put that burden on us...

Orangepeel

09-30-2003, 04:34 PM

Originally posted by Maniacmous
And the long and short reason to that...nice guys tend to not understand bounds too well...by that I mean, they are so busy being nice, that they lose or refuse to use the knowledge of how to take a friendship to the next level...and of course...women never seem to come right out and say when they like a guy...put that burden on us...

Ah, the ol' rejection thing ties in there real well. No one wants to take a rejection in any phase of life. It hits the confidence level real hard, and even harder when you're just getting used to horomones :).

wazman

09-30-2003, 04:56 PM

I've never gotten used to hormones... And I'm 30...

I've never gotten used to rejection, either... I've just gotten better at handling it...

Thankfully, I don't have to worry about it now... :)

Orangepeel

09-30-2003, 05:03 PM

Who get's used to rejection?

Most likely no one can get used to it. Some can just shrug it off and keep on chugging along.

Anyone out there used to rejection yet? And how do you deal with it?

wazman

09-30-2003, 05:33 PM

Originally posted by Orangepeel
Who get's used to rejection?

Most likely no one can get used to it. Some can just shrug it off and keep on chugging along.

Anyone out there used to rejection yet? And how do you deal with it?

Actually, it really doesn't bother me any more. I've gotten to a point in my life where I really don't care as much as I did when I was a teenager.

Part of it is my depression, which makes me go into any situation expecting to be rejected, but part of it's also my background as a performer. I've been playing in bands since I was 15, putting myself in the spotlight and drawing the attention. Stands to reason somebody's not gonna like me somewhere... So I've learned to just say "Oh well" and get over it...

It's just not worth getting hung up on... You just have to think "Well, it wasn't meant to be" - whether it's God/Fate/Whatever that caused it not to be... You can't change it, so just say "their loss" and move on.

Yes, it still hurts, but it's not the biggest hurt there can be... And I've been hurt a lot worse in life. So if somebody doesn't like me, no biggie - there's over 6 billion other people out there - somebody else will. :)

Silent_Death911

09-30-2003, 08:27 PM

So true........I talk to these girls at school all the time. I am the "nice guy". All the girls I talk to have boyfriends and I don't think they are all that good for the girl because I know what she is like. Then again, maybe I just don't like the girl's boyfriend. Either way, I get nothing for being a nice guy and listing all the time. Just more of the girl's problems. You would think that I would give up. Naw, because there are other girls in the school that I talk to alot and they don't have boyfriends (WOOHOO!!), so all in all, there is still hope. :thumb

Is it just me or is that guy's favorite word "arsehole"?? :lmao :rofl2 :lmao :rofl2

abb1

09-30-2003, 09:12 PM

Originally posted by Orangepeel
Nah, it goes both ways.

Just remember that there are nice girls out there too, and the guy of their dreams doesn't realize they exist, either. Where? Everyone that I have ever met was taken or married. No, it is true though. I have always treated women with respect, whereas a friend of mine that treats women like dirt, will walk into a bar and five minutes later walk out with one. He has always had girlfriends and women. I asked a girlfriend of his why she puts up with his crap. Her exact words were "he is Exciting". I was on his case as well as I dont like to see women being treated like that, and he said to me basically that, that is why I am single and he never has a problem picking up a woman, "women like that" he says. I just shake my head.

schoolreallysux

09-30-2003, 10:48 PM

Originally posted by Orangepeel
Nah, it goes both ways.

Just remember that there are nice girls out there too, and the guy of their dreams doesn't realize they exist, either.

nah its not taht 100%. its that most men (myself inculded) are really stupid when it comes to this stuff. so we wont know when a girl likes us. hmmm..... maybe u are right after all....

but guys (if this theory is correct) dont go look for the support from 1 girl, then after that they go make out with another.

XxFaeryOnFirexX

10-04-2003, 06:38 PM

Originally posted by Orangepeel
Who get's used to rejection?

Most likely no one can get used to it. Some can just shrug it off and keep on chugging along.

Anyone out there used to rejection yet? And how do you deal with it?

um... the guy over|
<---------------------- can because he got

1. Rejected by alot of people
2. Rejected by 14 colleges
3. Rejected by alot of other things

I am pretty much used to it. I kinda say... "Figures" and keep on going.

oh, but you see, the thing is that I am a nice guy too. Needless to say whatever that guy in the website says, not everyone is like that. There truly are some nice guys, however with alot of the other guys acting like that, it makes people not want to believe us.

Orangepeel

10-04-2003, 08:32 PM

Originally posted by schoolreallysux
nah its not taht 100%. its that most men (myself inculded) are really stupid when it comes to this stuff. so we wont know when a girl likes us. hmmm..... maybe u are right after all....

but guys (if this theory is correct) dont go look for the support from 1 girl, then after that they go make out with another.

That I've seen first hand.

Guy chats with one girl to get pointers. Builds up confidence, goes and chats it up with a girl only feet away. Rrrrrrrrrrrrr :mad:.

marko3xl3

10-04-2003, 09:57 PM

WoW...this is my third time rewriting my post...this really made me think.

What he is saying is totally right. Right now, I am a frosh at high school, and it's true...most "couples" involve an "*******" rather than a "nice guy".

I think that is because that's the way teenlife is. The cooler you are, the more your pants sag, the more you swear etc. will get you further in today's teen community. So cute girls want to go after the "*******s" because the girls want to be cool and on top too. That's the reason you see the "*******s" making out on the streets, at school etc...but no "nice guys".

It is not true that the "nice guys" don't get their share tough. If you are the nice guy, then you usually don't swear and your pants don't sag which means you won't show up in the "popular groups" and those groups are where most teens look up to because...who doesn't want to be popular.

So, once you find a girl you like, and the girl likes you...then you won't care as much about being popular, because your relationship is more important to you and you WILL realize that even if you wanted to be in the popular group, then you won't come far because "nice couples" don't swear etc... which means usually they can't be AS popular.

I know that everything I said above didn't make any sense because I didn't know how to express myself, but my basic point: Try to find the "not so popular" groups, and you will find a girl who likes you and you'll be happy.

XxFaeryOnFirexX

10-04-2003, 10:20 PM

Originally posted by marko3xl3
WoW...this is my third time rewriting my post...this really made me think.

What he is saying is totally right. Right now, I am a frosh at high school, and it's true...most "couples" involve an "*******" rather than a "nice guy".

I think that is because that's the way teenlife is. The cooler you are, the more your pants sag, the more you swear etc. will get you further in today's teen community. So cute girls want to go after the "*******s" because the girls want to be cool and on top too. That's the reason you see the "*******s" making out on the streets, at school etc...but no "nice guys".

It is not true that the "nice guys" don't get their share tough. If you are the nice guy, then you usually don't swear and your pants don't sag which means you won't show up in the "popular groups" and those groups are where most teens look up to because...who doesn't want to be popular.

So, once you find a girl you like, and the girl likes you...then you won't care as much about being popular, because your relationship is more important to you and you WILL realize that even if you wanted to be in the popular group, then you won't come far because "nice couples" don't swear etc... which means usually they can't be AS popular.

I know that everything I said above didn't make any sense because I didn't know how to express myself, but my basic point: Try to find the "not so popular" groups, and you will find a girl who likes you and you'll be happy.

/me has not been in a popular group

Maniacmous

10-06-2003, 11:09 AM

Originally posted by XxFaeryOnFirexX
/me has not been in a popular group

The key to it really is: don't join a popular group...don't even aspire to do that. What you should do is find like-minded people and form your own group...standard social cliques are far too overrated and pointless...the key to life is happiness, and to join most of the social groups, you have to make pointless compromises, either in your thoughts, actions, integrity, etc., whereas, if you form your own group, you can do your thing, your way...and only be around people that actually care about you and your ideals like you do.

XxFaeryOnFirexX

10-06-2003, 01:47 PM

Originally posted by Maniacmous
The key to it really is: don't join a popular group...don't even aspire to do that. What you should do is find like-minded people and form your own group...standard social cliques are far too overrated and pointless...the key to life is happiness, and to join most of the social groups, you have to make pointless compromises, either in your thoughts, actions, integrity, etc., whereas, if you form your own group, you can do your thing, your way...and only be around people that actually care about you and your ideals like you do.

sounds like a good idea, however people have not exaxtly joined me.

Orangepeel

10-06-2003, 04:36 PM

The population in grade school is so small that finding peope like yourself is not that easy, and a lot of times you all move thru the grades together. So there is not a lot of change in atmosphere until you hit the larger grades and into junior high and high school.

Out of maybe 700 students, you may find 4 or 5 that are sort of like-minded.

The more people you meet, the more chances you have of finding friends :).

Look at the huge population on this board. Within our our group, we have people that enjoy a common thing - their computer :). But even within here there are groups that have made friends and chat outside of 3GM too!

And here's another thing I learned about life:

Some of the girls and guys that were goodlooking and popular do not always carry that status into adulthood. I've known some boys that all the girls thought were cuties (and they thought they were great, too) that spiralled downwards into an abyss somewhere after high school. Girls that had all the early bloom curves that are so admired and envied change too.

And, I've also known guys and girls that had some acne, were gawky-gangly and downright awkward in high school that just sprouted away into very strapping lookin' handsome men and women :).

Either way, it's a shocker to see the end result!

Time will tell, and we only start to look our best when we hit the 20s :D.

XxFaeryOnFirexX

10-06-2003, 07:27 PM

Originally posted by Orangepeel
The population in grade school is so small that finding peope like yourself is not that easy, and a lot of times you all move thru the grades together. So there is not a lot of change in atmosphere until you hit the larger grades and into junior high and high school.

Out of maybe 700 students, you may find 4 or 5 that are sort of like-minded.

The more people you meet, the more chances you have of finding friends :).

Look at the huge population on this board. Within our our group, we have people that enjoy a common thing - their computer :). But even within here there are groups that have made friends and chat outside of 3GM too!

And here's another thing I learned about life:

Some of the girls and guys that were goodlooking and popular do not always carry that status into adulthood. I've known some boys that all the girls thought were cuties (and they thought they were great, too) that spiralled downwards into an abyss somewhere after high school. Girls that had all the early bloom curves that are so admired and envied change too.

And, I've also known guys and girls that had some acne, were gawky-gangly and downright awkward in high school that just sprouted away into very strapping lookin' handsome men and women :).

Either way, it's a shocker to see the end result!

Time will tell, and we only start to look our best when we hit the 20s :D.

my high school was nearly 3000 people. Actually in most cases, for some reason or another I have been avoided as if I had the plague. I have had no bad skin problems, I am not gosh awful looking, I dunno. I may never have fit in much due to me not being able to do strenuous physical activity. I have a ventrical sceptical defect, or if you don't know what that is, a hole in my heart. The problem with this is that even though it is mostly gone and repaired by its self, it can tear. I also had a heart attack right after I was born. Not a ton has gone right in my life, but there have been some good things. If my mom had not adopted me (aka... the mom I have now) I would have been dead. rant rant rant

I dunno. I hope i meet more people and I am happy that I have gotten to know some of the people on this board. Maybe someday...

gooch

10-07-2003, 08:30 AM

wow dude, you rule. i wouldnt do any physical activity with a hole in my heart.

Damiz

10-07-2003, 02:03 PM

Its so true :P

Vantz

10-08-2003, 05:46 AM

highschool sucked, stupid little town where you're either popular to some degree or you're maked a looser and a geek for the rest of time. Being a nice guy is what I do best I guess, and that really didn't get me anywhere. And to tell all of you the truth, I only really ended up with about five friends out of it all. I knew a few girls, but most everyone treated me like I was a disease. Kids pushed me around in the halls and threw me around in gym class, stupid assed teachers... ugh.. I can't believe how many stupid people there are in the world, I'm not saying the kids were braindead towards school work. But when it actually came to matters of real life and being mature, you could pretty much rule out 80% of the students I went to school with.

well... that's just a little of my rant, hope you all have a good day eh :cool:

OCcsdude

10-14-2003, 09:35 PM

Vantz, you about took the words out of my mouth. Although, I have never really been judged as a geek, I hate the immaturedy at high school. I am basically quiet at school and try to be kool with everybody unless they deliberately be offensive with me (and this is usually for no apparent reason). Half the time all you hear is, "hahahhaha, im so funny, ur stupid, hahaha...." etc. Just gets to be too much...nothing seems sane anymore. Not many at all have ever made fun of me because I stayed nice with everyone cept for some arseholes that are friends with me one second, then arseholes that take advantage of my nondefensive personality next. I don't like to defend myself in that case unless they really *** with me bcuz I don't like to have enemies. Bah, ahh well, just gets to ya after a while ya know. Btw, I am always considered as a nice guy it seems...I never judge people (even if they judge me) until I fully get to know them well. Although, I haven't had as much girl trouble as it sounds like some of you have. But it is true, I have seen WAY too many arseholes get a girl vs. nice guys getting girls. It's stupid as hell. I remember this one complete pothead arsehole (he didn't know his arse from his elbow) that almost every girl in the class thought was hot. It was ridiculous lol. Being the "nice guy" can have it's advantages though. All of my friends (the real ones) know they can trust me with anything and they know I am serious about things.

Orangepeel

10-14-2003, 11:55 PM

I remember being treated real nasty by two girls that I didn't even know. Apparently one of them liked my boyfriend (Who I will classify as a very nice guy ;) ) at the time and thought that throwing snotty phrases at me and making fun of whatever she could about me, would somehow make him dump me off. It just made her look like a twit.

The thing is, some people are just jealous of everything. They want what you have. You change your style and it looks good, they will try to put you down.

Then there are those that think they are such tha bomb. They will laugh at you because you don't have the cool stuff.

It's better to have one or two best, faithful friends than to wish for a huge social group where your status is all you have.

slaixth

10-15-2003, 07:56 PM

My my my, it has been a while since I've posted here. But I felt I had something to contribute.

In High School, I wasn't teased. I mean, I was a BIG guy 6' 4" and all of 220 pounds, whose gonna tempt that? I wasn't Mr Popularity either. I was just there. My Senior year was good because everyone else in my classes treated me with respect and I did the same. It didn't get me in with any girls.

Anyway, what helps me get over rejection is to compare finding a girl with fishing, which I love to do but only get to do twice a year. I've spent 8 hours on the boat and not caught a THING other than 'tree bass' yet I continue to go out and fish. That's the way I read it, Just the experience of getting out there, meeting new people. I can continue to do that. You gotta rise above all that fear of rejection and look back on yourself and ask what have you REALLY lost? I usually see that I've lost nothing other than a bit of my time. When you're right out of High School your focus should be on you, and your continuing education and or career. I'm too focused on what I'm doing in my career to care about having a relationship.

Silent_Death911

10-15-2003, 08:02 PM

As I said before.......it's so true.

High School is the bigest biatch for girls, popularity, and such. Hate it. Yet I could not give a rat's ass for being in the popular group. I don't care. Whenever I feel down, I know I can always be the popular kid in the 3GM Forums (I mean every word too).

weenie

10-17-2003, 12:24 AM

Originally posted by Orangepeel
Who get's used to rejection?

Most likely no one can get used to it. Some can just shrug it off and keep on chugging along.

Anyone out there used to rejection yet? And how do you deal with it?

Love is sort of like a dance .... the man leads but will never get anywhere if his partner doesn't want to be led. Man proposes and Woman disposes! Its a tough lesson to learn. To many, denial is a river in Egypt - lol. You got to tell yourself, "I'm still here ... It didn't kill me so I'm going to continue on! Life is not easy for men or women. So it is best to not place blame! And lastly, just because a lady says she wants something ... doesn't mean that she is used to having it. How many people leave their turn signals on and yet continue along the same road and same lane? So look for the signs of attraction that a woman will unwittingly give off - (ie eagerness to spend time with you; eagerness to touch you; eagerness to compliment you; and unconsciously fiddling with her hair.:sun_smile:thumb

Uh-Oh

10-27-2003, 12:13 AM

I blame it on society ;)

weenie

10-27-2003, 11:22 AM

Without women there would be no Society.:)

XxFaeryOnFirexX

10-27-2003, 05:01 PM

Originally posted by weenie
Without women there would be no Society.:)

technically there are more women in the world than men.

Uh-Oh

10-27-2003, 11:15 PM

Originally posted by XxFaeryOnFirexX
technically there are more women in the world than men.

That's it! Rub it in! ;)

Ahh... being single sucks :(

Like the song says...

"Lovin', it's what I got!" but no one wants it :Crying

XxFaeryOnFirexX

10-28-2003, 03:10 PM

Originally posted by Uh-Oh
That's it! Rub it in! ;)

Ahh... being single sucks :(

Like the song says...

"Lovin', it's what I got!" but no one wants it :Crying

"I said remember that..."

I'm single too so ur not alone.

Maniacmous

10-28-2003, 06:40 PM

Originally posted by XxFaeryOnFirexX
"I said remember that..."

I'm single too so ur not alone.

And you are all just joining the club I founded long ago...:banghead

XxFaeryOnFirexX

10-28-2003, 07:51 PM

Originally posted by Maniacmous
And you are all just joining the club I founded long ago...:banghead

how old are you?

Maniacmous

10-28-2003, 11:19 PM

Originally posted by XxFaeryOnFirexX
how old are you?

Couple weeks shy of 19, lol. I formed it in a previous life or something like that....yeah, that's the ticket! :lmao

Ringthane

10-29-2003, 09:15 AM

I think I'm a lifetime member.

bejohnson

10-29-2003, 09:22 AM

Originally posted by Maniacmous
Couple weeks shy of 19, lol. I formed it in a previous life or something like that....yeah, that's the ticket! :lmao

On what date did your mom's blessed event take place?

egarrard

10-29-2003, 11:52 AM

Originally posted by Silent_Death911
As I said before.......it's so true.

High School is the bigest biatch for girls, popularity, and such. Hate it. Yet I could not give a rat's ass for being in the popular group. I don't care. Whenever I feel down, I know I can always be the popular kid in the 3GM Forums (I mean every word too). Don't worry so much. You're young still. Give it time. And remember...10 years from now, you won't even know these same people you're so envious of... Life is change. :thumb