liquid_insect
02-10-2004, 08:17 AM
Are you prepared to read this??? ~ Message Length: 10125 ~
Here is the story... I made a good friend online... became even closer of a friend over the course of three years. I talked to them over the phone nearly every night, all night long for seven months. Then I was offered to take part in their band playing synthesizer (keyboard... I have 16 years experience playing all kinds of music for Piano... mainly types of classical and jazz). I moved from Dallas, TX to Catonsville, MD just so that I could better make use of myself for the band and so that I could practice with them. I'm having a horrible time finding a job at all around here, where as back home, a good friend of mine has finally gotten takers on investing on a company that I was partnered with that we were trying to start up for nearly a year or so... and it seems that so far it's going extremely well and will be going great for a long long while... (the first day there was an ad in the paper for the company and he got 80 phone calls!... he's a bit swamped and told me that he was looking for me.) I could get a job working with one of the guys in the band working construction (which is perfectly fine with me) but his dad has been strange about hiring me... I think the reason he won't hire me is because he is particular about how things are done, and also that he would probably want to train me himself but does not have the time for because he can't be on the site all the time just to do that (he is a busy man). I would be making decent money by doing that if only he would hire me. I do have construction experience... the main thing is that I don't have a car, and that's why I'm stuck having to choose to work within walking distance. I'm currently living with my best friend and their boyfriend in his parents house... her boyfriend wants for me to go in with him in getting a house so that I can live with them, and his brother and his girlfriend will eventually want to move in with us also... I'm paying his (best friends boyfriend) parents $100/month to stay here, (which is reasonable I think). The one job that I have gotten here from a little computer shop was a terrible place. Mainly due to the owner... (backed up to this point to avoid going into too much detail). His parents are just happy as long as I have a job... they don't really care about anything else... but when no one will hire me around here (yet) because I don't have a car and I can't walk three hours in two feet of snow every day just to get to a place that will hire me... then I'm probably am going to have to go back to hometown just so that I can make some money and get a car... ... but wait... there is that special some one... the one whom I made that promise to a while back... there is more to all of this... but I can't go into everything... yet... unless there is of interest to anyone out there... one thing that really bothers me a whole lot is the complete real extreme reason that I'm even here in the first place... and that is to help my best friend live... she happens to be a manic depressive, and she also has anxiety attacks once in a while from stress... she always "forgets" to take her medication for her depression... and I'm pretty much the only one who can get her to take her medicine for that. Her boyfriend and her self... they are boyfriend/girlfriend to everyone else around (i.e. parents... his brother... and what people that know them around - not too many friends)... yet really... they are pretty much split up... because he is basically too negative ALL of the time, yet is still in the band and helping her with her music... so she does not want to just simply leave him all together... but she can't really ever be with him either because he kind of stresses her out and such by complaining to her about all of his problems all of the time... mainly the same stuff just every day. *meow* Anyway... I'm basically the tension reliever around here. I myself have slowly fallen in love with her after living here and able to finally be around her and such... both of us know that we love each other and all... and because I don't want to end up in my life loving someone yet never telling them, I tell her that I love her, and she does the same to me also... but we don't do that around her semi boyfriend... (not really even boyfriend... more like room-mate), because he would get more jealous than he already is... which is reasonably understandable to me of course... I would have never said anything to her or anything if they were still together, nor would I have ever allowed myself to fall in love with her if they were... but I knew that she really does not want to be with him as a girlfriend because she does not like how he treats her and such. *meow*sorry.. probably talking too much here... Her problem with her manic depression is kind of bad though... in the past, her only other best friend committed suicide... I know for a fact that she is still trying to get over that and yet still has not, nor is able to on her own... that's one of the other problems... because if I had not come up here at the time that I did... she would probably would have committed suicide herself... and I would not have been able to do anything about it really other than to mourn for my only ever true to heart best friend... I'm pretty certain that she will be the only best friend that I will ever have... I'm pretty good friends with my brother... but I feel probably 150% better sharing stuff with her than him... with personal stuff really. Before I knew her, I loved to build and customize comptuers... that was probably my biggest thing to do, and still probably is... but it's not my love interest as much anymore. (I have a crap load of hobbies that I have kept myself busy with all of my life.)Basically, she makes me feel like living... and nothing else in this world really does that for me anymore... Up until I first became really good friends with her... my whole life feeling for living and continuing to live was solely for finding someone who I really truly love and would love me back just the same (and would also be best friends with me of course...) hell... I would have even settled for just even being best friends with her... I know that there is someone else that she probably secretly does love... and I know that it's possible that they really do love her as well... but they haven't really been there for her much at all... (and that's another long story) ... in any case though, I have told her that if the opportunity came up for her to be with that someone else, and if she changed her mind at that point... and I do know that they would treat her right and all... and I told her that it's perfectly fine with me if she were to be with that someone else than me of course... just as long as I could always be best friends with her... *meow*
:Crying
whew! This is long... so sorry... I hope this thread is not crap and get's deleted or anything of the such. I wish I could give much more detail, but I am unable to do so because this is the internet. There is much more to the story that's troublesome... (like a stalker) and that's why I'm unable to say too much more really... like a few other details... but by all means, anyone is able to ask me anything they would like to find out. I just might not be able to tell everything... due to circumstances and such... hope you all understand. I guess I'm really worried because I can guess what might happen if I have to go back to TX... and I'm unable to really tell anyone around here about how it really is with her and how she really is as far as her condition to her diagnosed problem and such... I really truly believe that even though I would keep in great contact with her like I used to before I came up here... that she would most likely do something terrible to herself... because she really does not want for me to go... and I don't want to go either... because both of us know that I really do help her every day with her problems and such, and also provide to be her best friend, and only real actual friend where she is located at right now. Sure... she has friends on-line and such that she talks to and all... but not anyone that can really help her like I am able and willing to do so. (something like that) As far as what everyone else would say that would be the best thing for me to do is to go back to TX and continue the partnership with my good friend there and make some good money and get a car and all and then come back up here when I'm finished with paying off my credit card bill and such and am better off via funds... music is what I want to do for a career, but computers is what I plan on making money for now till I'm able to really actually make a living from music. But I know that that's not the best thing for myself... I would be leaving the one that I love and care dearly for... my best friend... I would be leaving her behind as well as I would not be able to give as good of support as I do from afar. I really do believe something would happen to her... one way or another, so I can't do that to her, nor myself... There is another reason why my best friend and room mate haven't moved down south either... (which is where the record company is that they have an inside source/link with that is going to sign them once we can finish our demo for them) ... her room mates brother is the one whole plays the guitar parts for all of their music... only he knows the parts, because he came up with them himself... and it's not like they can get anyone else to play them because it's not written or anything... he has about two years of school left (High School) and is serious about the music and wants to do it and the rest of the band wants him in this with us all... but we are having to wait till he is out of school before we can even move... that's probably one thing really holding us back I believe. There really is not anything I can do about that at all though except to wait till he is finished. *meow*
ok ok ok... enough... right? ~blah~
:Sigh
Message Length: 10125
Here is the story... I made a good friend online... became even closer of a friend over the course of three years. I talked to them over the phone nearly every night, all night long for seven months. Then I was offered to take part in their band playing synthesizer (keyboard... I have 16 years experience playing all kinds of music for Piano... mainly types of classical and jazz). I moved from Dallas, TX to Catonsville, MD just so that I could better make use of myself for the band and so that I could practice with them. I'm having a horrible time finding a job at all around here, where as back home, a good friend of mine has finally gotten takers on investing on a company that I was partnered with that we were trying to start up for nearly a year or so... and it seems that so far it's going extremely well and will be going great for a long long while... (the first day there was an ad in the paper for the company and he got 80 phone calls!... he's a bit swamped and told me that he was looking for me.) I could get a job working with one of the guys in the band working construction (which is perfectly fine with me) but his dad has been strange about hiring me... I think the reason he won't hire me is because he is particular about how things are done, and also that he would probably want to train me himself but does not have the time for because he can't be on the site all the time just to do that (he is a busy man). I would be making decent money by doing that if only he would hire me. I do have construction experience... the main thing is that I don't have a car, and that's why I'm stuck having to choose to work within walking distance. I'm currently living with my best friend and their boyfriend in his parents house... her boyfriend wants for me to go in with him in getting a house so that I can live with them, and his brother and his girlfriend will eventually want to move in with us also... I'm paying his (best friends boyfriend) parents $100/month to stay here, (which is reasonable I think). The one job that I have gotten here from a little computer shop was a terrible place. Mainly due to the owner... (backed up to this point to avoid going into too much detail). His parents are just happy as long as I have a job... they don't really care about anything else... but when no one will hire me around here (yet) because I don't have a car and I can't walk three hours in two feet of snow every day just to get to a place that will hire me... then I'm probably am going to have to go back to hometown just so that I can make some money and get a car... ... but wait... there is that special some one... the one whom I made that promise to a while back... there is more to all of this... but I can't go into everything... yet... unless there is of interest to anyone out there... one thing that really bothers me a whole lot is the complete real extreme reason that I'm even here in the first place... and that is to help my best friend live... she happens to be a manic depressive, and she also has anxiety attacks once in a while from stress... she always "forgets" to take her medication for her depression... and I'm pretty much the only one who can get her to take her medicine for that. Her boyfriend and her self... they are boyfriend/girlfriend to everyone else around (i.e. parents... his brother... and what people that know them around - not too many friends)... yet really... they are pretty much split up... because he is basically too negative ALL of the time, yet is still in the band and helping her with her music... so she does not want to just simply leave him all together... but she can't really ever be with him either because he kind of stresses her out and such by complaining to her about all of his problems all of the time... mainly the same stuff just every day. *meow* Anyway... I'm basically the tension reliever around here. I myself have slowly fallen in love with her after living here and able to finally be around her and such... both of us know that we love each other and all... and because I don't want to end up in my life loving someone yet never telling them, I tell her that I love her, and she does the same to me also... but we don't do that around her semi boyfriend... (not really even boyfriend... more like room-mate), because he would get more jealous than he already is... which is reasonably understandable to me of course... I would have never said anything to her or anything if they were still together, nor would I have ever allowed myself to fall in love with her if they were... but I knew that she really does not want to be with him as a girlfriend because she does not like how he treats her and such. *meow*sorry.. probably talking too much here... Her problem with her manic depression is kind of bad though... in the past, her only other best friend committed suicide... I know for a fact that she is still trying to get over that and yet still has not, nor is able to on her own... that's one of the other problems... because if I had not come up here at the time that I did... she would probably would have committed suicide herself... and I would not have been able to do anything about it really other than to mourn for my only ever true to heart best friend... I'm pretty certain that she will be the only best friend that I will ever have... I'm pretty good friends with my brother... but I feel probably 150% better sharing stuff with her than him... with personal stuff really. Before I knew her, I loved to build and customize comptuers... that was probably my biggest thing to do, and still probably is... but it's not my love interest as much anymore. (I have a crap load of hobbies that I have kept myself busy with all of my life.)Basically, she makes me feel like living... and nothing else in this world really does that for me anymore... Up until I first became really good friends with her... my whole life feeling for living and continuing to live was solely for finding someone who I really truly love and would love me back just the same (and would also be best friends with me of course...) hell... I would have even settled for just even being best friends with her... I know that there is someone else that she probably secretly does love... and I know that it's possible that they really do love her as well... but they haven't really been there for her much at all... (and that's another long story) ... in any case though, I have told her that if the opportunity came up for her to be with that someone else, and if she changed her mind at that point... and I do know that they would treat her right and all... and I told her that it's perfectly fine with me if she were to be with that someone else than me of course... just as long as I could always be best friends with her... *meow*
:Crying
whew! This is long... so sorry... I hope this thread is not crap and get's deleted or anything of the such. I wish I could give much more detail, but I am unable to do so because this is the internet. There is much more to the story that's troublesome... (like a stalker) and that's why I'm unable to say too much more really... like a few other details... but by all means, anyone is able to ask me anything they would like to find out. I just might not be able to tell everything... due to circumstances and such... hope you all understand. I guess I'm really worried because I can guess what might happen if I have to go back to TX... and I'm unable to really tell anyone around here about how it really is with her and how she really is as far as her condition to her diagnosed problem and such... I really truly believe that even though I would keep in great contact with her like I used to before I came up here... that she would most likely do something terrible to herself... because she really does not want for me to go... and I don't want to go either... because both of us know that I really do help her every day with her problems and such, and also provide to be her best friend, and only real actual friend where she is located at right now. Sure... she has friends on-line and such that she talks to and all... but not anyone that can really help her like I am able and willing to do so. (something like that) As far as what everyone else would say that would be the best thing for me to do is to go back to TX and continue the partnership with my good friend there and make some good money and get a car and all and then come back up here when I'm finished with paying off my credit card bill and such and am better off via funds... music is what I want to do for a career, but computers is what I plan on making money for now till I'm able to really actually make a living from music. But I know that that's not the best thing for myself... I would be leaving the one that I love and care dearly for... my best friend... I would be leaving her behind as well as I would not be able to give as good of support as I do from afar. I really do believe something would happen to her... one way or another, so I can't do that to her, nor myself... There is another reason why my best friend and room mate haven't moved down south either... (which is where the record company is that they have an inside source/link with that is going to sign them once we can finish our demo for them) ... her room mates brother is the one whole plays the guitar parts for all of their music... only he knows the parts, because he came up with them himself... and it's not like they can get anyone else to play them because it's not written or anything... he has about two years of school left (High School) and is serious about the music and wants to do it and the rest of the band wants him in this with us all... but we are having to wait till he is out of school before we can even move... that's probably one thing really holding us back I believe. There really is not anything I can do about that at all though except to wait till he is finished. *meow*
ok ok ok... enough... right? ~blah~
:Sigh
Message Length: 10125