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liquid_insect
02-10-2004, 08:17 AM
Are you prepared to read this??? ~ Message Length: 10125 ~

Here is the story... I made a good friend online... became even closer of a friend over the course of three years. I talked to them over the phone nearly every night, all night long for seven months. Then I was offered to take part in their band playing synthesizer (keyboard... I have 16 years experience playing all kinds of music for Piano... mainly types of classical and jazz). I moved from Dallas, TX to Catonsville, MD just so that I could better make use of myself for the band and so that I could practice with them. I'm having a horrible time finding a job at all around here, where as back home, a good friend of mine has finally gotten takers on investing on a company that I was partnered with that we were trying to start up for nearly a year or so... and it seems that so far it's going extremely well and will be going great for a long long while... (the first day there was an ad in the paper for the company and he got 80 phone calls!... he's a bit swamped and told me that he was looking for me.) I could get a job working with one of the guys in the band working construction (which is perfectly fine with me) but his dad has been strange about hiring me... I think the reason he won't hire me is because he is particular about how things are done, and also that he would probably want to train me himself but does not have the time for because he can't be on the site all the time just to do that (he is a busy man). I would be making decent money by doing that if only he would hire me. I do have construction experience... the main thing is that I don't have a car, and that's why I'm stuck having to choose to work within walking distance. I'm currently living with my best friend and their boyfriend in his parents house... her boyfriend wants for me to go in with him in getting a house so that I can live with them, and his brother and his girlfriend will eventually want to move in with us also... I'm paying his (best friends boyfriend) parents $100/month to stay here, (which is reasonable I think). The one job that I have gotten here from a little computer shop was a terrible place. Mainly due to the owner... (backed up to this point to avoid going into too much detail). His parents are just happy as long as I have a job... they don't really care about anything else... but when no one will hire me around here (yet) because I don't have a car and I can't walk three hours in two feet of snow every day just to get to a place that will hire me... then I'm probably am going to have to go back to hometown just so that I can make some money and get a car... ... but wait... there is that special some one... the one whom I made that promise to a while back... there is more to all of this... but I can't go into everything... yet... unless there is of interest to anyone out there... one thing that really bothers me a whole lot is the complete real extreme reason that I'm even here in the first place... and that is to help my best friend live... she happens to be a manic depressive, and she also has anxiety attacks once in a while from stress... she always "forgets" to take her medication for her depression... and I'm pretty much the only one who can get her to take her medicine for that. Her boyfriend and her self... they are boyfriend/girlfriend to everyone else around (i.e. parents... his brother... and what people that know them around - not too many friends)... yet really... they are pretty much split up... because he is basically too negative ALL of the time, yet is still in the band and helping her with her music... so she does not want to just simply leave him all together... but she can't really ever be with him either because he kind of stresses her out and such by complaining to her about all of his problems all of the time... mainly the same stuff just every day. *meow* Anyway... I'm basically the tension reliever around here. I myself have slowly fallen in love with her after living here and able to finally be around her and such... both of us know that we love each other and all... and because I don't want to end up in my life loving someone yet never telling them, I tell her that I love her, and she does the same to me also... but we don't do that around her semi boyfriend... (not really even boyfriend... more like room-mate), because he would get more jealous than he already is... which is reasonably understandable to me of course... I would have never said anything to her or anything if they were still together, nor would I have ever allowed myself to fall in love with her if they were... but I knew that she really does not want to be with him as a girlfriend because she does not like how he treats her and such. *meow*sorry.. probably talking too much here... Her problem with her manic depression is kind of bad though... in the past, her only other best friend committed suicide... I know for a fact that she is still trying to get over that and yet still has not, nor is able to on her own... that's one of the other problems... because if I had not come up here at the time that I did... she would probably would have committed suicide herself... and I would not have been able to do anything about it really other than to mourn for my only ever true to heart best friend... I'm pretty certain that she will be the only best friend that I will ever have... I'm pretty good friends with my brother... but I feel probably 150% better sharing stuff with her than him... with personal stuff really. Before I knew her, I loved to build and customize comptuers... that was probably my biggest thing to do, and still probably is... but it's not my love interest as much anymore. (I have a crap load of hobbies that I have kept myself busy with all of my life.)Basically, she makes me feel like living... and nothing else in this world really does that for me anymore... Up until I first became really good friends with her... my whole life feeling for living and continuing to live was solely for finding someone who I really truly love and would love me back just the same (and would also be best friends with me of course...) hell... I would have even settled for just even being best friends with her... I know that there is someone else that she probably secretly does love... and I know that it's possible that they really do love her as well... but they haven't really been there for her much at all... (and that's another long story) ... in any case though, I have told her that if the opportunity came up for her to be with that someone else, and if she changed her mind at that point... and I do know that they would treat her right and all... and I told her that it's perfectly fine with me if she were to be with that someone else than me of course... just as long as I could always be best friends with her... *meow*

:Crying

whew! This is long... so sorry... I hope this thread is not crap and get's deleted or anything of the such. I wish I could give much more detail, but I am unable to do so because this is the internet. There is much more to the story that's troublesome... (like a stalker) and that's why I'm unable to say too much more really... like a few other details... but by all means, anyone is able to ask me anything they would like to find out. I just might not be able to tell everything... due to circumstances and such... hope you all understand. I guess I'm really worried because I can guess what might happen if I have to go back to TX... and I'm unable to really tell anyone around here about how it really is with her and how she really is as far as her condition to her diagnosed problem and such... I really truly believe that even though I would keep in great contact with her like I used to before I came up here... that she would most likely do something terrible to herself... because she really does not want for me to go... and I don't want to go either... because both of us know that I really do help her every day with her problems and such, and also provide to be her best friend, and only real actual friend where she is located at right now. Sure... she has friends on-line and such that she talks to and all... but not anyone that can really help her like I am able and willing to do so. (something like that) As far as what everyone else would say that would be the best thing for me to do is to go back to TX and continue the partnership with my good friend there and make some good money and get a car and all and then come back up here when I'm finished with paying off my credit card bill and such and am better off via funds... music is what I want to do for a career, but computers is what I plan on making money for now till I'm able to really actually make a living from music. But I know that that's not the best thing for myself... I would be leaving the one that I love and care dearly for... my best friend... I would be leaving her behind as well as I would not be able to give as good of support as I do from afar. I really do believe something would happen to her... one way or another, so I can't do that to her, nor myself... There is another reason why my best friend and room mate haven't moved down south either... (which is where the record company is that they have an inside source/link with that is going to sign them once we can finish our demo for them) ... her room mates brother is the one whole plays the guitar parts for all of their music... only he knows the parts, because he came up with them himself... and it's not like they can get anyone else to play them because it's not written or anything... he has about two years of school left (High School) and is serious about the music and wants to do it and the rest of the band wants him in this with us all... but we are having to wait till he is out of school before we can even move... that's probably one thing really holding us back I believe. There really is not anything I can do about that at all though except to wait till he is finished. *meow*

ok ok ok... enough... right? ~blah~

:Sigh

Message Length: 10125

Maniacmous
02-10-2004, 08:31 AM
Wow....just....wow. The story...almost a modern day epic, and I don't say that out of sarcasm or anything. You've got love, problems, compassion, all this really deep seeded stuff going on there...its awesome, well, not all the bad stuff, but like as far as stories go, you've got a good one.

That being said...this thread is by no means crap and I for one am glad you posted it. I really don't know how to respond to most of that, nor do I even know if I'm supposed to...I'm gonna let it soak in more before I say anything concrete. What I will say though is that if you want to tell us more, or need any help or anything, I'm sure we would all (myself at the very least) be more than willing to listen and do our best to assist.

In the meantime...best of luck to you and God bless my friend.

liquid_insect
02-10-2004, 09:54 AM
Thank you for your kind words, and compliments. Just writing it alone has made me temporarily feel better. I'm glad that at least one person thus far is glad that I posted it. I know that many people have problems all the time and such... back before I was best friends with her, I used to help everyone out with what ever they needed... I've never had a problem with that... that's just part of me. ..and yes, people are supposed to post, but are not required to do so, nor is supposed to even read it. I guess in a way... this is my current story going on... yet maybe perhaps in hopes this might get this thread moving on to a topic of some sort... I don't know how anyone can really respond to this one at all really. I guess... what would help me out the most right now, is if someone could give me a job in Catonsville, MD... lol
I've never really have lived out of my hometown/state before... but from what I can tell thus far... it's as if you move to a different country... almost. It's so difficult to get a job, reguardless of where or who you've worked for in the past... also reguardless of what experience you have. That's how it seems at least. I would like to give all the details... however... some of the things that the details would include are some pretty well known people and such which is also something that I'm not able to really bring up into detail... basically I'm not supposed to talk about some things, because of current investigations going on and such. heh kind of sucks, but I'm pretty good about keeping stuff to myself that I'm supposed to. (good secret keeper and that such)

To conclude... thanks for listening. This post is probably my longest one yet. I just wonder out of all of my posts, how many words, characters, and such that I've used... I wonder if there is something that we could get Rodney to integrate into the forum that could tell us that kind of information. Would be kind of interesting to see where all of those posts go to... Perhaps our ratings/post meters shouldn't be so much about how many times we've posted and instead how many words we have typed? Just random thoughts really... heh... well thank you for posting/reading... perhaps I'll add some more information... I do like questions... for instance... if anything was unclear or if there is a question of information that is in between the written lines or that such. Would help me more so for giving the correct information that would be needed to better understand. Well... going to cook something in the kitchen.

(one bad thing is that this stuff has come up under discussion around the house here (about the job and all) and it's all happening on my best friends birthday... today... the 10th. which basically SUCKS for her... I've been trying to make her feel better today though by doing everything/anything she wants for me to do/help her with though... it's the least that I can do for her.)

Perhaps more info later... I'll have to see about it.

liquid_insect
02-10-2004, 10:00 AM
One thing that I just thought of... I believe it would be very nice if this story could help inspire Sherry (3GM Better-Half) to write a better half article or at least join the discussion perhaps... I would be honored by an article by her though. I can not remember the last time that she has written one, but if I'm correct with the assumption... it's been a little while.

egarrard
02-10-2004, 12:51 PM
A) How old are you? How old is the girl involved?
B) Would you even accept a suggestion on what to do?

liquid_insect
02-10-2004, 01:48 PM
Originally posted by egarrard
A) How old are you? How old is the girl involved?
B) Would you even accept a suggestion on what to do?

Q1: 21
Q2: 24
Q3: Sure.

egarrard
02-10-2004, 04:20 PM
Okay. I have to run out for an hour or so, but I'll re-read your post and suggest something. Sorry, but I lost my train of thought when I ran and got the kids from school.

The real answer might be something you aren't thinking of. The question you have to ask yourself is how much your friend loves you. Honestly.

egarrard
02-10-2004, 07:19 PM
Don't leave your best friend. Take her back to Dallas with you. It sounds to me like the biggest problem she has is her environment. It's just a downer. Why not go somewhere fresh, where at least one of you has a bright future. Get her out of that mess!

The band is going nowhere. I don't care how good you might be. You have a highschool kid in it and that's going to kill it. Bands are a dime-a-dozen. Besides, what is so great about the music scene in Maryland??? I would bet the one in Dallas is a lot more vibrant and stand you a better chance to succeed. Get a working band going in your hometown, with her, then when the highschool kid graduates, he can come down and join you. He can fit in with a polished group by then. He'll just add to the act, not be what it depends on. And don't kid yourself. There are a thousand pickers or more out there that can play exactly what he can, only better. Anybody can be replaced.

It sounds like you will have the most important thing a musician can have - a good second (or, first) job! Take care of the bills first, then if the music thing happens, you can do it on your terms, not just to eat. There ain't no steady paycheck in the music business. Not for 99% of the people who try it.

If nothing else, split the difference and try Nashville. Don't be fooled by the country stuff...

Do you all have anything recorded?

egarrard
02-10-2004, 07:30 PM
Anyone else going to weigh in with a suggestion for him? :banana

wazman
02-10-2004, 07:32 PM
Listen to egarrad. He makes a lot of sense there. I've been in a few bands in my life that have basically ended up being a bunch of people in a room playing the same songs over and over again just because we weren't willing to admit we were wasting our time.

Plan for your future. You can always join a band when you want to. But a band won't pay your bills - it'll barely put gas in your tank.

Gadget421
02-10-2004, 08:32 PM
Line up a place for you and her to stay for a bit, and you both hop on a greyhound bus back to Dallas. Take the job, save for a place of your own and get a car.
Then start looking for a band...

If you really feel strongly about her DON'T leave her there. She will be all you think about when you get back to Dallas and you won't have time for 'what ifs'. If it does not work out between you two put her on a bus back to her old life.

Good luck man.

Please feel free to post about it all here.
There is something very cathartic about letting it all hang out with people that you might not ever meet in real life.
I have found that alot of the people here are the most thoughtful, compaionate caring and inteligent people I have had the good fortune of typing to. These people have already learned alot of the leasons you are going through right now.

liquid_insect
02-13-2004, 02:14 PM
*has been feeling kind of uncomfortable about what he's going to do within the next little while... and is somewhat unsure which choices are going to lead up to where and that sort of thing*

I have a correction to make... the guy in HS, he's getting out in one year... not two... so that means that this is the end of his Jr. year of HS... I've asked her if she would come with me back to Dallas, but she said that she can't... why that is, I'm not sure yet, but I didn't persue the question at the moment, because the topic was touchy at that time, and fragile. I'm going to see about it again though, because parents and brother and such are all calling me and all trying to convince me to come back down there for work and all, and to have a better chance for getting another car that sort. So I'm being pushed that way by them... then, my best friends room mate... he himself even said that it's no big deal if I can't get a job here for myself to go ahead and go back home for a while for the job if I have one waiting for me down there... he said. Only thing is... no one around here knows my best friend like I do... if for some reason she has to stay here no matter what, and all... then I'm just going to have to tell her room mate about a few things about her that she keeps from him. How she from time to time has strange "habbits" as she calls them, such as pushing in on her stomach till she faints and crap like that. I've been able to help her with all of that stuff... he told me that she used to do that kind of stuff long time ago and he was able to get her to stop doing that kind of stuff... but she's actually only stoped that for a while... and then she started it up again, just more like doing it behind his back without him knowing it. Also, from time to time, because she "forgets" to take her medication... she has those depression attacks... so a lot of times, she will then try to beat herself up, like hitting her head or such, or even sometimes something more darastic... just depends on her stress level also. She also has exibited characteristics of suicidal feelings from time to time also... for instance... she seems to have one such instance with knives or razor blades... and the other possible thing that I believe she could possibly try is ODing on pills... *shrugs* that's the kind of stuff I always think about when ever I'm not around her, or when ever I'm at work... the other thing is the whole thing about the stalker... the stalker actually has people working for him that seem to be all over the place... before you ask, yes the stalker is kinda rich I guess you could say... but the people that they have working for them are really stupid. They do weird **** all the time... but if they ever see her room mate, they have always just run off. Her room mate can't call police or anything like that about it because it's already under investigation. It's all sort of a weird story, and it's long too. Any ways... enough typing for the moment from myself. heh! Just some things that worry me I guess... I'm not sure if any of this is very valueable info about more to think about. And yes... the guitarist could be replaced, but I'm not the one in charge, and that's who they have already decided they wanted to play the parts and all... I mean... my brother plays really wicked guitare back home... I'm sure he could be very inventive for the music if they would like for him to do it or that such... he's very ecletic with music as am myself. But none of the guitare parts are written on to where someone else would be able to play them... and they already have it to the sound that they want it. Nothing is going on here as far as music in this state... Maryland sucks for music... you are right on that part... Dallas is a much better place for the music scene. Her room mate is kind of negative towards moving to Texas... he pretty much refuses it completely. But then again, he has never lived there before... his whole thing is that he doesn't like "rednecks". *meh* I'm not going to get into a discussion about prejudiceness (spelling?) or that topic at all... that's a topic that's a s contrivercial as religion. Any ways... the one thing that's making me hate not going back down to Dallas is leaving her behind... because she's stuck with music right now anyways... she has a sort of musician's writers block... and if it's ever mentioned, she just gets upset about it. You see, she used to be a very strong willed person about four years ago or so... up untill the stalking thing... and mainly up untill her best friend comitted suicide. Ever since then... she's been fragile... (heh, that's even one of her nicknames really...) In any case, the record company that we have an inside link to is in Louisiana.

That's all the nfo for now... *bleh* *meow*

too much.

egarrard
02-13-2004, 03:22 PM
A record company in Louisiana? Who are their artists?

Do you have anything recorded I might hear?

Random Guy001
02-13-2004, 03:58 PM
(1)PARAGRAPHS MAN PARAGRAPHS ! ! ! :surrender

(2) What the hell is the *Meow* Crap are you a cat? .:Yea right

(3) You have NO idea what you are getting into with a manic depressive , especially one that "Forgets" to take her meds. I sound harsh? Your hearing the harshness of experiance, Manic/depressives are hooked like junkies to there "highs" and often feel there downs are worth it. :Sigh

(4) Semi Boyfriend? What the hell is THAT? So what are you , Semi Friend? Hes a downer but shes the mellowdramatic suicidal chic with the "semi-boyfriend" and the friend shes in love with. Again manic depressives are drama addicts and have a EVIL habit of dragging those closest to them down into there crazy and you are less capable of handling than she is.

(5) Your likely not liking what i have to say one bit but you will learn the hard way, ive been there ive held the bloody razer blades , had the 4am emergency phone call to come "save" her and ive had the heartless "i dont need anybody" manic highs as gratitude for "getting in her way" by trying to get her to take her meds.

(6) Your ONLY prayer is if you can make her swear (and she really means it) to take her meds (her forgetting is BULL**** and you know it) and to move back with you.

(7) Use your head in this and think it out carefull , does she really want to be "saved" , and can you ever really be happy in this type of relationship? How long untill you become the "semi-boyfriend" thats the downer in her life? Remember with her its going to be all about her and her problems , when it comes to you and your problems you will find that well isnt allowed to be anywhere near as deep as hers.

(8) Dating a Manic Depressive is like dating a Coke Addict thats why they dont take there meds , they a so damn addicted to the manic high.

I know your going to think im a downer or a hater but ive been there man and it was a hard ass time, she drug me into her crazy and i was almost addicted to it and had a hard time leaving it out of guilt of not being a "good" guy. I know you feel she needs you and its not her fault and thats part of the crazy , shes chemically imballanced , high if you will and your love isnt going to create a miracle and cure her.

If she promises with all her heart to take her meds , then you have found that one in a million and have a prayer but dont hold your breath.

I know it sounds like im *****ing yopu out but im feeling for YOU and i know where this will lead and its goign to be a world of hurt and your going to regret all the sacrifices you mad for someone that will end up un willing to pop a single pill a day for you and her.

Orangepeel
02-13-2004, 10:38 PM
Hiya Liquid :happywave!

You've got yourself a full cup of life there. That would be a lot for any one person to drink in all at once.

It's hard to know what to say that may help, but I guess you know your friend best...better than anyone else. If you think that her situation and living arrangements now are causing the majority of the problem, then maybe a change of scenery is exactly what she needs.

If you KNOW her heart is in the right place, ask her to move with you. But if she decides against it, then you know where she stands :).

As for forgetting to take medication....well...there's a little invention that's been around for a long time. It's called a Dosette. You know the little plastic container with the days of the week on it?? They are great for those that need to keep track of their meds. I know this because I've dealt with many outpatients that find these to be a godsend :thumb!

But most of all...you are still a single man. Look after yourself FIRST, and no matter how torn it may make you feel, don't let one person potentially drag you in the wrong direction. Take care of YOU!

:sun_smile

liquid_insect
02-22-2004, 03:53 PM
Originally posted by Orangepeel
Hiya Liquid :happywave!

You've got yourself a full cup of life there. That would be a lot for any one person to drink in all at once.

It's hard to know what to say that may help, but I guess you know your friend best...better than anyone else. If you think that her situation and living arrangements now are causing the majority of the problem, then maybe a change of scenery is exactly what she needs.

If you KNOW her heart is in the right place, ask her to move with you. But if she decides against it, then you know where she stands :).

As for forgetting to take medication....well...there's a little invention that's been around for a long time. It's called a Dosette. You know the little plastic container with the days of the week on it?? They are great for those that need to keep track of their meds. I know this because I've dealt with many outpatients that find these to be a godsend :thumb!

But most of all...you are still a single man. Look after yourself FIRST, and no matter how torn it may make you feel, don't let one person potentially drag you in the wrong direction. Take care of YOU!

:sun_smile

Thank you both, Orangepeel & Random Guy001 for your input, thoughts, and help.

For Egarrard: Can't say what the record company is or who their artists are, because that would put the names out there for whom ever to search and come across this article. I can say that it's an industrial record company, and that they are an underground lable. erm, hope that helps!

Sorry that it's all kind of stupid that I'm not allowed to say who the company is... here is another clue, they are a part or sub company of 1|\|t3r$c0p3. heh! sorry for the huge *mistery* thing. Let's see... we haven't recorded our finial songs for the demo yet, but we did just finish another song yesterday (saturday). That makes a total of three finished songs.

We have perhaps 23-30 songs made, just none of them are finalized like the three we've been working on. We are probably going to send the demo to two different record companies, one is the one I just listed, and the other one is that *mistery* one that I'm not supposed to talk about.

The demo is going to contain a projected five songs. Here are the three titles that I know of that will be included. *I hope this to be some useful sort of bonus info of anyone to become a fan or such - heh* none of this is in any particular order, as I have no clue what the final order will be like. None of these are final titles as well, as nothing is certain.

Simmer
The Yearn
Drifting Misery

Now then... for my last clue... I just accidentally said the name of the mystery record company somewheres in that parragraph. As for Orangepeel... thank you for the idea of the Dosette, I'll try that out. Also, thank you for the gentil suggestions. I've missed reading the Better Half articles... hope you can come up with another one some time soon. Just a little question of curiosity, what have you been keeping yourself busy with other than work and playing video games :)?

Random Guy001 -
Sorry I didn't use better paragraph preperation for the thread, as thoughts pour out faster than a spilled cup of soda, my fingers were just trying to keep up! Sorry for the *meow*'s... I sometimes initiate those when I feel frustrated with typing, as if saying too much information for anyone to take in, or perhaps even understand me.

As for recent time, and for a few unfinished items at hand that I need to take attention to... I've decided on staying here for a little longer. For a few main reasons:
1. I am building five custom computers for them. (and I'm getting paid for that)
2. To help finish the demo.
3. Support so that things don't get crazy around here.
4. I have had some new job openings up here that I am going to persue for the time beings.
5. I am not ready to go back home just yet.

I suppose that's all that the list contains for now.