PDA

View Full Version : Nice humour


Maro
05-18-2004, 10:20 PM
Whether you ar a christian or not you have to see the funny aspect of this:

Internet devils smite virtual church
By Ruth Gledhill, Religion Correspondent


THE world’s first cyber pulpit has been shut down after a large number of online worshippers logged in as Satan and shouted expletives.

The internet Church of Fools, opened last week at churchoffools.com, is sponsored by the Methodist Church, which takes a strong line against profanity. It allowed online visitors to kneel to pray, cross themselves and perform an arm-raising “hallelujah!”.

Church wardens are on duty with “smite buttons” to consign blasphemers to virtual hell. But some of the worst offenders are from the US and Australia and visit in the middle of the night, when the wardens are asleep. Hackers have broken in disguised as wardens, sworn at the congregation or greeted newcomers by saying “Satan loves you”.

The organisers have now closed the pulpit and apse to visitors. They have also removed the “shout” button so that worshippers can whisper to those closest to them without the whole church hearing. The number of wardens is also to be increased.

Virtual parishioners reacted defiantly. One message on the site’s internet chat room yesterday said: “It’s just a load of sad individuals playing ‘wind up the Christians’.”

Since it was announced at the Christian Resources Exhibition last week, the site has attracted 20,000 visits a day. Stephen Goddard, a spokesman for the cyber chapel, said: “We obviously use the ‘smite’ button where we can. But we have very few resources to police it 24 hours a day.”

He drew an analogy with John Wesley, the 18th-century founder of Methodism: “When Wesley went out in the early days, people swore at him, made braying noises like a donkey and spat on him. At least we know we are not preaching to the converted.”

:lmao :lmao

Bobenis
05-18-2004, 10:33 PM
ROLF!!!! :lmao

eire1274
05-19-2004, 12:18 PM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Genius!

Don't care for Mormons and their peculiar warped version of Christianity. Did you know they believe that when you die, if you were a good Mormon, you get put in charge of a planet and get to populate it with "spirit children" and be their God?

t00lb0x
05-19-2004, 06:14 PM
Originally posted by eire1274
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Genius!

Don't care for Mormons and their peculiar warped version of Christianity. Did you know they believe that when you die, if you were a good Mormon, you get put in charge of a planet and get to populate it with "spirit children" and be their God?

They are weird but have their own beliefs. And they have very strong family unit, which you don't see very often anymore in the US.

coldstatic
05-19-2004, 06:49 PM
ha hahahahahahahahahaha. rotf clasic.
that is probly the funniest thing i have herd all day.
the whole thing with the hackers was great. ohh and u would think with 10,000 of them going door to door every day they could spare a few to moderate chatrooms. maybe? i have a good mormon joke but its to long to type. still funny to think about.:lmao :lmao :lmao :rofl2 :rofl2 :rofl2


ok maybe my post was a little harsh so i will pray.:hail :hail maybe they got the kneeling icon from us. lol

Maro
05-19-2004, 08:35 PM
Methodist's are not Mormons

But it is still funny.

My friend "Howling Mad Murphy" sat next to a young missionary who was flying back to the states after 5 years preaching in the Amazon. During the 9 hour flight my friend (who is evil) had convinced him to read the books he had given him (Foucalt's Pendulum, Fermat's last theorem etc) and by the end of the flight he had convinced him to try other religions:devil :devil

eire1274
05-20-2004, 12:18 AM
Originally posted by Maro
Methodist's are not Mormons

But it is still funny.
Oops, my fault. Somehow I was convinced you had said Mormons.

Funny all the same, though Omaha's Methodist Hospital was the site of my heart surgery and recovery, and my ongoing out-patient care, so I'll say for the record that Methodists are cool with me, in general.

Maro
05-20-2004, 01:50 AM
It's all good!

:thumb

bejohnson
05-20-2004, 07:28 AM
Originally posted by Maro
It's all good!

:thumb

Hey guys. It's so dry here in Atlanta and the water use restrictions are so tight that the Baptists have started sprinkling and the Methodists are wiping with a damp cloth.

egarrard
05-20-2004, 01:48 PM
Originally posted by bejohnson
Hey guys. It's so dry here in Atlanta and the water use restrictions are so tight that the Baptists have started sprinkling and the Methodists are wiping with a damp cloth. For anyone who believes in backsliding, it's only temporary anyway. :Beer

eire1274
05-20-2004, 01:56 PM
Originally posted by bejohnson
Hey guys. It's so dry here in Atlanta and the water use restrictions are so tight that the Baptists have started sprinkling and the Methodists are wiping with a damp cloth.
We here in Omaha aren't under water rationing yet this year, but it'll probably happen. I've decided to help out where I can. I save water by only drinking beer.

Strangely, everything in my day seems to be so much easier, less stressful, sometimes inexplicably hilarious. Doesn't helping out just make you feel great?

coldstatic
05-20-2004, 04:42 PM
lol. i think i might have to try that water conservation technique. but as of right now i am only up for margarita wensdays at le Mesa. 1.25 marges cant beat that. ohh and i am pretty sure the curch has nothing to do with the hospitial. not for sure though but i do know my mom works their.

Maro
05-20-2004, 05:22 PM
My screen is covered in Coffee

Ringthane
05-20-2004, 05:59 PM
Originally posted by bejohnson
Hey guys. It's so dry here in Atlanta and the water use restrictions are so tight that the Baptists have started sprinkling and the Methodists are wiping with a damp cloth.

:confused: :What the

bejohnson
05-20-2004, 06:09 PM
Originally posted by Ringthane
:confused: :What the

Baptists when they accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour are baptised by immersing in a pool of water. The Methodist sprinkle with blessed water much like the Catholics.

eire1274
05-20-2004, 06:44 PM
Originally posted by bejohnson
Baptists when they accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour are baptised by immersing in a pool of water. The Methodist sprinkle with blessed water much like the Catholics.
Actually, the common Roman Catholic practice is a stream of water poured across the forehead.

bejohnson
05-20-2004, 06:46 PM
Originally posted by eire1274
Actually, the common Roman Catholic practice is a stream of water poured across the forehead.
I know, I didn't want to confuse him.:rofl2

Ringthane
05-20-2004, 08:55 PM
Originally posted by bejohnson
Baptists when they accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour are baptised by immersing in a pool of water. The Methodist sprinkle with blessed water much like the Catholics.

I still don't get why that's funny...

And don't worry. I know much more than you think about ceremonial religious rites. Don't be condescending.

Orangepeel
05-20-2004, 10:35 PM
Ah, now we're getting somewhere.

Some like sprinkles, others like dunked. It's like doughnuts! Now that's something we can all relate to :).

bejohnson
05-20-2004, 10:39 PM
Originally posted by Orangepeel
Ah, now we're getting somewhere.

Some like sprinkles, others like dunked. It's like doughnuts! Now that's something we can all relate to :).
In Georgia if you are a Baptist you have to shower first so you don't leave a ring around the baptismal pool.:rofl2