3dGameMan
12-06-2004, 09:09 AM
The New Quiz Show Scandal -- Reality Television: ~source (http://www.latimes.com/news/custom/showcase/la-op-stein5dec05.story)
JOEL STEIN
We all figured some of it was fake: Joe Millionaire's slurping make-out noises, the depth of the relationship between Brigitte Nielsen and Flavor Flav, Jessica Simpson's breasts. And "reality" was always a misnomer for shows that involve Donald Trump or people on desert islands. But these shows purporting to be unadulterated documentaries are unreal in a more obvious way: They are secretly crafted in advance by writers. And I've got the entertainment equivalent of the Pentagon Papers to prove it. Maybe more like the equivalent of the photo with President Bush holding the fake Thanksgiving turkey in Iraq, but still, they are definitely papers.
Many of the shows that supposedly follow the real lives of real people are really scripted by real writers, many of whom were unemployed because their sitcoms got replaced by reality programs. So reality shows are just sitcoms starring good-looking people instead of hot actresses and the fat, ugly guys who play their husbands. That's why they're 50% more entertaining.
Through sources I cannot reveal but would definitely not go to jail to protect, I got hold of a 19-page, single-spaced outline of an upcoming episode of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy." Every moment is planned in advance, including a few specific lines for the straight guy to deliver, which Bravo says is not unusual for any reality show. It's something that people in Hollywood know and think is no big deal. Like Mike Ovitz.
This script tells the touching story of Patrick Mullare, a guido who lost 100 pounds and lives in his parents' basement (see latimes.com/realitytv for the full script and Cialis pop-up ads). On Page 5, Fab Five member Jai conveniently provides exposition and sets up the tension by finding a greeting card in Patrick's room from Rene, an unrequited crush.
Six pages later, Jai brings him to the bar at the Tribeca Grand ("INT. HIP AFTERWORK SINGLES BAR") where Patrick invites a woman to the party the queer guys are throwing for him that night. Then there's "a funny moment" where Patrick, after showering, slips back to his pre-queerified self and almost uses hair gel....
JOEL STEIN
We all figured some of it was fake: Joe Millionaire's slurping make-out noises, the depth of the relationship between Brigitte Nielsen and Flavor Flav, Jessica Simpson's breasts. And "reality" was always a misnomer for shows that involve Donald Trump or people on desert islands. But these shows purporting to be unadulterated documentaries are unreal in a more obvious way: They are secretly crafted in advance by writers. And I've got the entertainment equivalent of the Pentagon Papers to prove it. Maybe more like the equivalent of the photo with President Bush holding the fake Thanksgiving turkey in Iraq, but still, they are definitely papers.
Many of the shows that supposedly follow the real lives of real people are really scripted by real writers, many of whom were unemployed because their sitcoms got replaced by reality programs. So reality shows are just sitcoms starring good-looking people instead of hot actresses and the fat, ugly guys who play their husbands. That's why they're 50% more entertaining.
Through sources I cannot reveal but would definitely not go to jail to protect, I got hold of a 19-page, single-spaced outline of an upcoming episode of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy." Every moment is planned in advance, including a few specific lines for the straight guy to deliver, which Bravo says is not unusual for any reality show. It's something that people in Hollywood know and think is no big deal. Like Mike Ovitz.
This script tells the touching story of Patrick Mullare, a guido who lost 100 pounds and lives in his parents' basement (see latimes.com/realitytv for the full script and Cialis pop-up ads). On Page 5, Fab Five member Jai conveniently provides exposition and sets up the tension by finding a greeting card in Patrick's room from Rene, an unrequited crush.
Six pages later, Jai brings him to the bar at the Tribeca Grand ("INT. HIP AFTERWORK SINGLES BAR") where Patrick invites a woman to the party the queer guys are throwing for him that night. Then there's "a funny moment" where Patrick, after showering, slips back to his pre-queerified self and almost uses hair gel....