My life is odd...

[wazman]

Yesterday I get religious chain mail... Now today some guy came in and tried to unload some Monet and Van Gogh prints out of the trunk of his car.

Yeah, pal. I'm really gonna take a few of those home.

Time to get one of those "No Soliciting" signs for the store. And the house. And maybe one to just carry around with me...

My life is odd...

[Tivon]

I need one of those "No Soliciting" signs for my front door. :devil

[eire1274]

I need one of those "No Soliciting" signs for my front door. :devil
I DO have one on my door.

And I get Jehova's Witnesses, Mormons, magazine salesmen, and (oddly) a free carpet shampoo (couple of nasty teenagers who flipped me off when I told them no). I just point to the sign, and tell them I'll call the police if they don't leave.

[ascully]

Signs on the door dont seem to mean anything to people, I am a night worker hence I sleep in the day I have a sign up that clearly says "Day Sleeper, no soliciting" and I still get stupid salesmen, they look at me funny when I am half asleep at 4 in the afternoon heh

[egarrard]

Put some blobs on spackle on the door with a sign "Don't knock or ring the bell. I've shot through the door before." :lmao

[bejohnson]

Two or three "bullet" holes in the door, a chalk outline on the front porch and a large dark stain should do the trick. Throw some religious pamphlets around for effect. :thumb

[Tivon]

Hmmm.. Dang, if I had the sign and someone was still trying to sell me something I'd get real nasty. My father was a Mormon and has since passed away. :Crying And those Mormons never giveup always being nice and wanting to bug me. They normally just call now because I never answer the door. The last guy that called I just laughed like I was insane. He said, "Do you need any help with the huricane?" and I laughed, "HAHAHAHAHAH!" He then said, "We really should come over for some home teaching." And I laughed even harder! "Yeah, right... HAHAHA!" :taunt Then my wife said, "What are you doing? Is that those Mormons again?" Me, "Yup, Hold up honey I'm joining a cult." Wife,"You tell those Mormons they need J.e.s.u.s. and to stop calling us!" And this is while I'm on the phone with the guy. :o She takes the phone from me at this point and gives him hell about Mormons being a cult and other stuff that goes far over my head. I've seen her do this to people at the front door. I'd sit there and let them talk and ask questions, but in my head I was just waiting for the right time to tell them I didn't want anything or to get lost. She just jumps up and talks them down. There was this time with these kids selling mags with one right after the other for a few days. I was playing around with his mind and asking wierd questions like I wanted his job, but only if I could do it naked. Then my wife butts in. "Who is that? Lord do you guys ever stop! Tell him to go away!" I just looked at him like, "Hmmm WTH?" She walked up and said, "Your buddy was just here about 1-hour ago selling the same crap, if I didn't want it then I sure as heck don't want it now. Go and tell everyone else to stop coming here! :tantrum He tried to say something and she slams open the door and got in his face, "WHAT! DID YOU SAY!? Yah that's right mother ****er you better take your ass out of here before I rip that smile off your face!" :grumble And I'm like, "Honey, c'mon he is just doing his job, man you better go, she is pissed." And he runs off! :Holy Crap

I don't need a sign, I've got an attack wife. :taunt

"Solicitors will burn in hell, so saith the wife." :noway

[wazman]

I also have a dog. A big black Lab. That barks. Loudly.

People don't make that mistake twice.

[CyberGuy]

I also have a dog. A big black Lab. That barks. Loudly.

People don't make that mistake twice.

I think this is the main draw to having pit bulls or rottweilers. Nobody's gonna stand there preaching at you while a pitbull is making very scary noises and curling his lip. Just reach toward the the screen door handle while this is happening and watch 'em run for their lives -- it would be funny as hell :lmao. Better than a shotgun... :KICK ASS