Makes your bones strong

After years of red wine being praised as the drink of eternal youth, thirsty boffins have finally found that beer is a health food.

Researchers at the University of California with an enormous drinks budget have looked at 100 commercial beers to determine silicon content. Silicon is important because it makes your bones good and strong. According to the Journal of the Science of Food and Agriculture, which we get for the crossword, the average beer contains 29.4 parts per million (ppm) of silicon which drunk at the quantities consumed by Fudzilla staffers, would make our bones bullet proof.

Researcher Charles Bamforth said that India Pale Ales has a huge 41.2 ppm. Ales in general average 32.8 ppm, while lagers, were down around 20. Bamforth said that wine drinkers have stolen the moral high ground. The reality is there's now growing consensus around the world that the active ingredient in alcoholic beverages that counters atherosclerosis is alcohol. It doesn't matter if it's wine or beer.

Malt, a sprouted grain, is the greatest source of silicon. Barley contains even more silicon than wheat. Of course they only tested US beer which, like the nation's democracy, is a pale imitation of the real thing and has to be chilled to 0 degree's kelvin so you can't actually taste it.

The average guy should stop at two drinks a day to get most of his silicon through beer. Girls should stop at one. (Depending on what kind of silicon we're talking about. sub.ed.)